I Do Bite My Thumb, Sir

This title, like so many others, has nothing to do with the subject of my tiney rant this evening. Tonight's subject is the total lack of regard for someone's personal property when they are showing you hospitality when you don't deserve a lick of it. I don't understand in which generation respect became a vice and not a virtue. Really. Someone barges into your house and uses your broken toilet? No room for P's and Q's there, huh?

But I'm getting ahead of myself, dear children.

So, my grandfather fixed my gas gauge, which means I can now tell when my tank is full, half so, or empty. Thanks, grandpa! This has nothing to do with anything except that my day started off well, what with my receiving a nice little paycheck AND getting free work done on my car. The blood drive, however, was bust. I won't go into detail, I just couldn't find any people.

Well, after a nice, hour-long conversation next to the gas pump at a Shell gas station, thus holding back many a potential customer for said gas station from the perfectly usable pumps, I went home, ran upstairs to my room to check my e-mail in a jolly little manner [I have no clue why I'm writing like this... do I sound like a pompous ass yet?] and to my great surprise had a message from someone whose blog I enjoy very much. My point: Great afternoon. Perfect.

As I was replying, I hear the dogs start to bark frantically. Oh geez. This could mean anything from there's a man with a machite and a hockey mask outside of my door or a child playing on his skateboard down the street. The dogs are indiscriminent in their attempts to ward strangers away from our house, and I don't mind much because I'm basically a hermit. I hate driving, going out [except with my beloved girlfriends because they understand what social situations are acceptable and which are not and that is a rare quality in young women] and being around most people in general, save at work when I have this knack for striking up conversations with perfect strangers because they're hot/gorgeous/buying funny things. But I digress...again. Then comes the banging on the door, the constant ringing of the bell, which of course I don't answer because I'm a "child left home alone" as my mother so prudently put it. Plus I hate it when people don't get the hint: either A) I am in no condition to answer the door, B) I'm screening my visitors [a ridiculous effort when my car was in the drive way], or C) you're being rude and I don't want to deal with rude people.

Well, not taking the hint, whoever was doing the door-banging and bell-ringing, went to the other door and rushed it, which annoyed me. For two reasons. I did not answer the door for a reason. And she didn't announce herself, or allow the dogs to sniff her as dogs are prone to doing when a stranger enters. She just ran straight to the bathroom [which, mind you, is broken at this time]. I feel like now I should tell you that "she" is my stepfather's sister, with whom I have had many bad experiences. All I shall say is that she once told me that I needed to lower my standards to that of the average barroom brawler if I wanted some man-muffin in meh. Sorry, I want a guy who's in the same caliber as myself. My mistake, forgot this was America. Anyway, I calmly told her through the door that that bathroom was off-limits because it was broken, but she said she could hold it no longer [not quite so eloquently] so she went at it. My kitchen, which is located next to the bathroom, now smells like piss.

Upon exiting, she was then rushed by all the dogs [three] and I tried to control them with her egging them on. Did I mention that she parked in my front yard under the porch? She did. My dog is big and white and of a breed that I cannot spell so I shan't embarrass myself trying. Anyway, he's particularly vicious to people he persieves as strangers or people who barge right on in. So he's sitting there growly loudly and not at all in a playful manner. And what does the woman do? She sticks her drunk face in the dog's face. I told her, rather repeatedly, not to get that near to a dog that clearly has no other inclination than to rip her to shreds. Perhaps he was just going off of my body language though because, sure, I was a tad tense myself. When she didn't stop, I grabbed his collar and pulled him to the back door, saying to myself, "Well, then, since you won't listen I won't do a bloody thing when you get yourself bitten cause you don't [insert obsenity here] listen." She asked me what I said and with an almost joking smile I repeated, shoving my dog outside. Then the niceties continue. She goes upstairs and tries to walk in my sister's room. Not sure why. The girl held the door closed and yelled, "Be out in a minute." But that just set this woman off, and she stormed out of the house spouting nonsense like she got it and she knew when she wasn't wanted, and I, flipping through mail, called "Sorry to make ya feel so" as she slammed the door.

Five minutes later, when I was sure she was gone, I grabbed my phone and told my mother about it. She told me to lock all the doors and not answer for anyone, as was my right as a minor, left home alone with a younger sister to take care of. Well, later, I get this text. From the stepfather. It said, and I quote, "i sent my sister up ther. u will not b rude to my family do u understand me?" I didn't understand him so I didn't reply, but I think what offended me most was that he has a full QWERTY keyboard on his phone and still insists on using chatspeak, which I cannot allow.

So that's my rant. There's the end, finally. Off to watch some cheasy chick flick and nurse my wounded pride! [insert overexaggerated sniffles here]

xoxo